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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Thinking too much




I had such a terrible dream last night.

I was walking along a pathway next to Niagara Falls with my kids and one of my daughter's friends. We were talking and laughing and having a wonderful time. But then I noticed that my daughter was leaning a little bit over the rail... I started to tell her to stop because she was gonna fall, but before I could she toppled over the side and landed on a rocky ledge and was immediately swept toward the edge of the Falls. All in one or two quick seconds I realized my baby was going to go over and there was nothing I could do to save her. It was awful. I was completely overcome with panic and screaming my head off just before she approached the edge and I thought PLEASE GOD let this be a dream.............then I woke up, panting and I think possibly yelling. My husband had been asleep next to me and he asked if I was ok and I got up and went straight to my daughter's room and found her safely asleep in her bed. I knew she would be there but I just had to go and see her for myself. I kissed her forehead and stared at her for a minute and then went back to bed. It was so awful. I know I've said that a few times already but I can't even convey it accurately. Ugh.

Once I laid back down and started to calm down, I got all angry at myself for dreaming something like that!! But I think it may be because of how much I've been thinking a lot about Laura. About how life can change in an instant and what the hell would I do if such a tragic thing happened to my loved one... I know that must be what brought it on...and I was soon back to sleep. But boy did I give my little girl an extra long hug this morning.

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