Saturday, March 31, 2012

Mega Dreaming

$640,000,000. Three winners. Holy friggin' crap.

And now the Mega Millions is back down to a measly $21,000,000. LOL it sounds so insane to say that. But, in know what I mean. I hope the winners are people who will do some genuine good with their money. People who need it and deserve it and have worked hard to get where they are in life. There are so many things I would do if I won that money.

At the top of my list: My mother's house would be paid off in full - hell, I'd build her a new one. To her liking, however she wanted it, wherever she wanted it. She deserves all of that money and more. She is truly someone who has never once put her own happiness first and I love her so much. Just once I'd love to see her genuinely happy, secure, at peace...without a care in the world. Her life has been difficult and a lot of people just don't seem to get it. But she has also been very blessed and she is thankful for every little thing she has.

The rest of my family's debts would be wiped away. My kids college education would be taken care of. My husband and I would build a dream home that we could grow old in. He and I have been talking so much about what we would do if we won. One common theme keeps coming up - sharing the wealth. He wants to donate to the Red Cross. I want to donate to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. Really there are so many charities and causes I'd help if I ever had the means to do so. It would feel so wonderful to help like that, to make life better for others. I know this is sounding really corny, but I couldn't be more serious. I've really been dreaming these past couple days. There is one completely selfish thing I would do -- I'd finally get my dream camera. My hubby would finally get his dream guitar and/or recording studio... We are not very materialistic and we've never really paid much attention to the Mega before these past couple of weeks, but we'll probably keep playing it now, even though the jackpot has now shrunk severely. You know what they say - you never know. And it's always fun to dream.

Congratulations to the winners. I truly wish you all the happiness in the world!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

A Lazy Saturday with Friends

My daughter is having a "play date" today with her new middle school BFF.

Wow I guess I probably shouldn't call it a play date.
They are 11 after all...nearly 12.
And I'm trying not to be an embarrassing Mom today.

 I am so excited about this,
I've been waiting all year to meet this 'lil chickie & she's finally here.
She is very sweet and I can see why she and my daughter have hit it off so well.

They are like two peas in a pod.
Love being goofballs.
Not frilly girly girls.
(not that there's anything wrong with frilly girly girls! I am one myself!)
LOVE animals.
Not pre-occupied with boys and make up...(NO. Not yet)

I have only one thing...and maybe it's just me, but... her parents - having never met us before - just kinda dropped her off. I talked to her Mom last night and she seemed very nice, but I figured they'd want to meet us before leaving her here...? I guess maybe I sounded nice and trustworthy enough on the phone. I dunno. Like I said, maybe it's just me. I have been known to be a little paranoid and overprotective.

So anyway, the little BFF is here until 6:30...
So, apparently she is staying for dinner.......which is fine....
I just hope she likes pizza!!

My son has a friend here today too...they're just Wii'in it up.
These kind of weekends are my favorite.
Absolutely nothing we have to do...
although, there are a million things I SHOULD be doing.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Thinking too much

I had such a terrible dream last night.

I was walking along a pathway next to Niagara Falls with my kids and one of my daughter's friends. We were talking and laughing and having a wonderful time. But then I noticed that my daughter was leaning a little bit over the rail... I started to tell her to stop because she was gonna fall, but before I could she toppled over the side and landed on a rocky ledge and was immediately swept toward the edge of the Falls. All in one or two quick seconds I realized my baby was going to go over and there was nothing I could do to save her. It was awful. I was completely overcome with panic and screaming my head off just before she approached the edge and I thought PLEASE GOD let this be a dream.............then I woke up, panting and I think possibly yelling. My husband had been asleep next to me and he asked if I was ok and I got up and went straight to my daughter's room and found her safely asleep in her bed. I knew she would be there but I just had to go and see her for myself. I kissed her forehead and stared at her for a minute and then went back to bed. It was so awful. I know I've said that a few times already but I can't even convey it accurately. Ugh.

Once I laid back down and started to calm down, I got all angry at myself for dreaming something like that!! But I think it may be because of how much I've been thinking a lot about Laura. About how life can change in an instant and what the hell would I do if such a tragic thing happened to my loved one... I know that must be what brought it on...and I was soon back to sleep. But boy did I give my little girl an extra long hug this morning.

Monday, March 19, 2012

A Rude Awakening

Me with Laura, Summer 1991

I don't even know how to begin this post.
Well, I guess first I can say - I am back. I wasn't sure I would be. 
But....well, something tragic has inspired me to keep at this blogging thing.
Let me explain...

Last Wednesday, I woke up and groggily started walking towards the bathroom to get ready for work, and like most other mornings, I checked my Facebook updates on my iPod. I was not prepared for what I was about to see. A friend of mine who I have known since I was seven years old posted: "To my beautiful sister, Laura. I love you more than you know...losing you is something I never imagined..." as my eyes fell on those last words, I dropped my iPod. I sat down on the side of the tub, picked it up and continued reading. I couldn't believe the words that were in front of me. There had been a car accident. My childhood friend, Laura - an upbeat, beautiful mother of three very young children had been killed. She was gone. Her family was in agony. I wondered for a minute if I was still asleep and was just dreaming all of this. Although I haven't seen Laura since she moved away years ago, we have stayed good friends thanks to Facebook (which I really hate to admit, because I kinda hate Facebook, lol). I watched her kids grow up in front of my eyes in the photographs she constantly posted of them. I knew all about her life, her family, everything she did, and she in turn for me...even across the miles separating New York and Florida which is where she had relocated to with her mother and sister (who I am also still friends with thanks to the wonder of the dreaded Facebook). Anyway, to sum it up....this week has been full of thought and realizations for me. Mostly to never take anything - or anyone - for granted. To cherish memories, be myself, do what I love and just be me and not worry about what anyone thinks of me. It's hard to explain, but somehow Laura's sudden passing has made me want to keep telling my story. It's important to me. If something should happen to me, I want my family to be able to come here and remember what we did together and what I said or thought about. I'm done with trying to pander to an audience on here or to get followers. I want to just be me and document the life I live. Losing such a vibrant friend makes you realize you really never know what will happen tomorrow or even three minutes from this moment. Enjoy it while it lasts.