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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Worry

I’m having a lot of trouble these past few days…things just keep happening that are so negative. I tend to distance myself from people who are constant complainers, or who never see the bright side of things and only focus on the negative, but right now, I’m finding it VERY hard to NOT be one of those people myself. I’m certainly not choosing to be this way, it’s driving me nuts. The situation with my Dad has been going on since April – first the never-ending pain and weeks of searching for a solution, then his three surgeries and now his very difficult recovery, which will still be going on for months, before yet another surgery. In the middle of all that, the car breaks down twice, the water heater goes, lots and LOTS of money troubles arise… and now my sister is sick. Kidney infection, excruciating pain, possibly something more is going on, we don’t know yet because my sister’s insurance expired two days ago so the testing is slow-going of course. My Mom, being the wonderful woman she is, dusted herself off after this latest slam and left work today and rushed to my sister’s side. And honestly - I am more worried about my Mom right now than I have ever been. She is taking on way too much, and there’s no end in sight. I am helping as much as humanly possible, but I am a Mommy of two little kids who need me and I can’t do as much for my Dad and sister as my Mom does. My Mom is going to break. It’s hard sometimes to see the light at the end of the tunnel, when it seems that every day a new boulder or two falls down and blocks the way out. When are things going to improve? Or even just let up and stop worsening? I’m trying to have faith that it will be soon, and trying to convince my Mom to have faith too, but what can you say to someone who is in her position? We just need help. Unfortunately, sad as is it to say, the almighty dollar is the root of a lot of problems, plus with my Dad being out of work for over a month now and not receiving disability yet those problems are worsening by the second. Money is needed for the countless new prescriptions, co-pays, healthy food for a recovering vascular surgery patient, and now for my sister’s medical bills that will begin piling up since she has no health insurance – oh AND her wallet was stolen just last night with more than $200 inside. Seriously. I realize this all sounds completely nuts, but I’m not making ANY of this up. And you may think – “why does it bother you? You don’t need to be responsible for making everyone else’s life easier”… but it’s because my Mom, Dad sister and I take care of each other – we don’t let each other face things alone…but when ALL of us are so drained, it’s hard to pick up the pieces. I realize it could be worse so I don’t need a lecture on that… that’s something I am thankful for – that things are not as bad as they COULD be. So please, if you are a praying person, please pray for us. I don’t like posting things like this, but I needed to get it out, and I figured it never hurts to ask for prayers…If you read this, thanks for taking the time.
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3 comments:

  1. I am praying for you and your family.

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  2. I know how you feel. I am a worrier and I worry about every person I care about.

    I hope your situation gets better soon!!

    And that's what blogs are for, venting always makes me feel better. =)

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  3. thinking of you and sending hugs your way

    ReplyDelete

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